LOVING YOURSELF
It is so rare to find people that had wonderful childhoods with loving parents who encouraged them with positive feedback. Most of us, especially of the older age range weren’t so lucky. One person I met got great grades in his A-levels except for one particular subject. He was not praised for what he did achieve but was criticized for what he didn’t achieve. My parents were just plain not interested in what I did or didn’t achieve, although they were always quick to find a reason to criticize me and put me down. They would sometimes compare something I had done or not done with my brothers who always seemed to come out better. No wonder it was so hard to have any kind of relationship with my brothers at this time.
We all know now that positive feedback can, in most cases, nourish and help a child grow into a positive and happy adult. But when I think of all of us who didn’t have that, and have, in spite of it all, overcome so much self doubt, self hate, lack of confidence and fear. It’s been such a hard long journey for so many of us, overcoming what we were taught as children, and all the negative beliefs that got programmed into our psyche.
For some of us, it seems a life long journey to finding our true selves, the ones we were before being subjected to so much negative feedback. But I wanted in this blog to pat us all on the back and say a big well done. It’s not been easy and for some of us, it still isn’t easy, but we’ve done our best.
I want to say to all who may still be struggling, well done for getting this far. Try to love that part of you that still believes the negative things that others have said to you. That part of you that still lacks confidence or feels not good enough. Love that part of you that still feels so much fear. Give that part of you the positive nourishment and encouragement that it lacked as a child. I know it can be hard to love something that you have learned to hate, but, in truth we are BEINGS OF LOVE.
Try to find the good in you. Okay so you were full of fear and had no self-confidence, but you still spoke out, or you still put your views forward, you still told them. When you realise that you are beating yourself up again – stop and recognise that your Soul Self or Wise Self loves you despite what you blame yourself for. Learn to love yourself even when you are not feeling so good about yourself.
Practice changing the energy. You are not feeling good, so what will make you feel better – a walk in nature? Giving yourself a positive talking to? Making a date with a positive, caring friend or two? Having a massage or some other treatment? Opening that box of chocolates that you feel so guilty about? (Well, sometimes we do have to be rebels!)
It takes hard work to change something that was instilled in us from an early age, but I know we can do it. I know we can change how we feel about ourselves and live a more positive, loving life. We’ve come so far already, let’s keep up the good work.
Lots of love, Patricia x
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